LGBTTTIQQA WTF?

The gay community likes to pretend it's an embracing umbrella, with an acronym for everyone.

Just by choosing not to use the well worn acronyms to portray us, I tread on dangerous activist waters, with the mistaken assumption that I'm bigoted or self-hating by not embracing all the colors of the rainbow flag at all times.

Truth is, just like any broad community, we are not one. The G's and the L's don't always get along and the B's are often looked at with a wary eye, let alone the T's and I's who don't necessarily have the same needs as the rest of the crowd. Then you have the Q and A's who don't quite fit in all the time either. Claiming otherwise is simply pretending that it's all one big happy family for the sake of presenting a united front.

I mention all this after reading a thoughtful column over at Salon that deals with all of this, in light of the current push to pass the Employment Non-Discrimination Act (ENDA) in congress. There's also a full explanation of the acronyms in question there too.

After 30 years of trying, there is finally a chance to pass a federal law supporting gay rights. This should be an exciting day for sexual orientation rights. So of course the acronym crowd is up in arms, fighting it. It's sad.

Is it a perfect piece of legislation?

Of course not. It blatantly excludes some the acronyms above that still make members of congress squeamish.

Is it a gigantic step in the right direction for all those acronyms? Absolutely.

Those same members of congress are the brave ones who are, for once, willing to make gay rights a federal right. I can't for my life see how this wouldn't be an enormous first step for everyone.

Let's be clear on this: Federal Rights for gay people do not exist at the moment. It's only at the state level that a patchwork of laws have been enacted.

It's hard to remember sometimes that while the Civil War granted African Americans freedom, it took well into the next century for them to achieve actual civil rights on a federal level. It did not happen in one day. It was a result of years of finding friends and allies who helped nudge the country to the point where it became politically possible to make real changes. It did not happen overnight, with one law. For that matter, the African American community is still beating the civil rights drum to this day.

The gay community isn't that different.

There are real and tangible signs of growing acceptance of the gay community in this country. Each year more and more companies offer domestic partner benefits. The days of social gatherings with darkened windows and alley entrances are giving way to mainstream acceptance. While Dynasty was forced to reign in it's gay characters just a few decades ago, hit shows like Ugly Betty go much farther than anyone might have imagined today.

Maybe it is time to simplify again and just call it a gay rights movement, acknowledging that a movement by definition is a conglomeration of individuals constantly striving for a united change -- change that by nature doesn't come all at once.

By getting rid of the acronym you stop muddling the message.

We can argue our differences amongst ourselves as we always have, and will continue to do so. It's how the G added an L and then a B and then the rest. Myopically focusing on all-inclusive acronyms, and the need for all to be acknowledged at all times, just helps divide and conquer our goals. It makes a point of showcasing our divisions instead of what unites us. Equality should be equality for all, of course. By trying to be everything to everyone we may just end up with equality for none.

This is more relevant this week as we mark National Coming Out Day.

Be proud of who you are and live your life openly, regardless of which letter of the alphabet you claim as your own. It is only because our friends, neighbors and coworkers are aware and accepting of us, that congress would even come close to considering gay rights on a federal level.

I am very thankful for this.

I also know there is still much more to be done -- for all of us.